Western Wall 7.6.08

Right now I am sitting at the Western Wall, or the Wailing Wall. In some ways ,it is kind of a letdown, because the women's section is very small and crowded, and you have to wait your turn to pray against the wall. There are also women begging for tzedakah while you are walking there. This is after you have gone through the X-ray machine and metal detector. So, there's all of that that seem to conspire to make this a vast disappointment, and you can't ever imagine focusing yourself enough to transcend the cell phones ringing, strollers blocking places where you can pray, women shaking cups of coins and shouting for money. Or even the men walking boldly into the section, shouting at one another or on their own cell phones.

It also feels strange to pray to or against a place. Are we putting some divine properties into a place? I had sort of felt that way with David's Tomb, like people there were praying to David, rather than God. Were people praying to the wall? The other interesting thing is that the wall was not part of the Temple, but instead part of a supporting wall that surrounded the Temple Mountain.

So, this is what I have to work with. I clutch my prayers, carefully written out on little slips of paper, and I just think, if I can just get these notes into the cracks of the wall, then it doesnt' really matter if I myself can pray or not. I have brought the prayers of my friends and loved ones here, and I have been a messenger for them. I stuff my notes into the cracks, and then put my hand on the wall and start to pray.

I start with the Shema, and then someone moves out of the way and I have a spot to myself. I press both palms and my forhead against the stone, adn I am almost instantly able to block out everything else. The stones feel warm and smooth against my hands, and I imagine all of those before me who have touched these same stones, for almost two-thousand years. I forget the heat of the day, and I am just in my own space, my own moment, talking to God. Holiness isn't something we happen upon. It can't be created for us. It is something we must create ourselves, by being present in that moment, or in that place. To me, the Wall isn't holy because of the Temple; it is holy because of the years of faith and hope that generations of Jews have put into it.