Israel: 6.27.08

It is my first day in Israel. It is interesting how a place can both meet your expectations and surprise you. The landscape looked how I expected it to look, but the feelings I have are what surprised me.

The buildup of the trip did a lot to lay the groundwork of a special experience. A long overnight flight to Rome that wasn't quite long enough to sleep, me in a middle seat surrounded by two strangers, and the person in front of me with her seat fully back so that I could barely move, much less reach my bag or use the tray table. I grew to hate her. All of this felt like something that had to be borne in order to reach this magical destination.

My Turkish seatmate was willing to befriend me, in spite of our political differences. (An awkward silence ensued when I revealed that I was headed to Israel.) I asked him many questions about Turkey, but his English was not great, so conversation was stilted. However, through various means of communication, involving both me and Keith, (who had traded seats with me for a bit), we discovered that our new friend from Turkey had never before left his country, but had traveled to the US to a work study program that was supposed to last six months. However, after two weeks he had decided that he couldn't take it and was returning to Turkey. Among some of the difficulties encountered here was that "food in colleges is very unkind, very unkind." To add an interesting twist, the work study program was apparently for some sort of carnival. Are there work-study carny programs?

We arrived in Rome at about 1:00 AM our time, but 8:00 AM Roman time. Now it was morning. I feel the Rome airport could have strived for more. Were I Leonardo da Vinci, I would not feel honored. Apparently, when in Rome, leave poop in or on any available toilet. It seemd almost like some kind of post-modern graffiti.

Unfortunate kosher meals were eaten. One woman saw Karen's meal and said, "Oh, kosher. Is that a special kidn of sauce?"
Arriving in Israel, landing on the plane, felt powerful. I teared up. It felt magical to arrive in a place I had invested so much time and thinking into. But what was interesting is that I did not feel connected, teh way I thought I would. I thought I would feel excited, like, "Oh, I am surrounded by my people!" In America, I feel connected to other Jews, because we are such a minority. It's almost like you can't help but seek one another out.

Interestingly, here I felt little connection to anyone. Everyone's Jewish, so it's no big deal. Plus, I felt like an outsider in many ways, because 1)I'm a foreigner who speaks almost no Hebrew 2)Ethnically, people do not share my background 3)I am not officially recognized as Jewish here because my conversion was not Orthodox. Not that Israelis know that, but it's more that I know, and feel somehow like an imposter, like it's not OK for me not to know a prayer or some part of Israeli or Jewish History. I feel like I somehow have to prove myself, even though I know it's just inside myself.

Our first stop was to Kabbalat Shabbat services in Haifa with the Leo Baeck community. Our flight was late, so we had to go straight to services, all sweaty and exhausted. I tried to take it all in, and really connect to the feeling of participating in Kabbalat Shabbat services in Israel, with Jews from al different parts of the world, all praying together. I had to keep repeating this to myself, though, because I kept nodding off. Especially when this old guy kept playing flute solos. The guy was awesome, for many reasons, including his cool drums, white gilligan hat, and general excitement level, but there was nothing I could do. I was simply too tired to appreciate him.

I was so tired after services, and felt they would never end. I almost killed one member of our group, because she wanted to keep asking questions, and all I wanted was a bed. My ankles were swollen and looked elderly. I saw an old woman at services with swollen, distorted ankles that seemed to hang over her feet like jowls. I felt terrified that I was looking into my future.

Finally, a shower, dinner, and a short walk. Everyone is walking together on Shabbat evening, enjoying a stroll in the evening breeze. Haifa is a port city, but it is also a mountain city, so it seems that no matter where you are standing, the views are stunning. It was wonderful to feel the night air, and to look down on the sparkling expanse of city, and the dark sea beyond.