Discovery of a Long-Lost Brother

I almost never write about B, so I found this journal entry dated 7.25.04 and put it in here. This is where it all began.

I am in Utah. My parents came a day early so that we could have some family time. In a sense, it's nice to have the "whole" family together, at least what's traditionally the whole family. I felt a bit lost and alone, which is funny, because it's my family. But I sense the difference--no partner, no person on my team. And Kristine and Charlotte [my nieces] are so excited to see their grandparents that I feel sort of left in the dust.

At the moment I am hearing strange squeaking sounds. Are my brother and his wife having sex? Interesting. Well, it's stopped now, so if they were it didn't last very long.

Today when my parents came, they said they had something important to tell me and my brother. It was something life-changing, they said, but it didn't involve illness.

Yes, my brother and his wife were definitely having sex. I can hear them talking right now, and after the squeaking stopped, I heard my brother let out a big sigh. How awkward.

I was trying to figure out how my parents would be doing something life-changing, and whether it would be good or bad. My first guesses, all instantly rejected, were: moving or selling a house, getting divorced, changing religions or becoming vegetarian, or someone realizing s/he is gay. What else could it be?

My dad sat us down and had us read a series of emails, which essentially revealed that my dad has another son, or so we believe, that he didn't know about. The son was conceived with a girlfriend who my dad had briefly dated before he and my mom were exclusive, and who had moved away after a few months. I guess this woman called him at some point to say that she was pregnant, but then he didn't hear from her again. At the time, he wasn't sure that she really was pregnant at all, or if he was the father, or anything. She didn't contact him again or ask him for money or anything that he can remember, so I guess he figured she hadn't been pregnant, or maybe that she'd had an abortion. Apparently she hadn't. She had given her son up for adoption through Catholic Charities, and my dad's name is listed on the adoption certificate as the baby's father.

The son has met his birth mother and apparently has a good relationship with her. Now the son wants to meet my dad. His dad. The son is about 40 years old and he lives in Boston. We don't know his name or anything because his attorney is the one who contacted my father. The son could live in my neighborhood or I could have passed him on the street a hundred times. My mom and I are dying to know what he looks like and if he looks like Dad.

I wonder if my dad will cry when he meets his son. I wonder if it is really his son. I wonder if the son is a nice person. I hope he isn't trying to get something from my dad, or trying to trick him or hurt him in some way.

I can't believe that my father has an unacknowledged, illegitimate child. Just yesterday, Kris and I were sitting around wondering if either of our parents has ever had an affair. Also, I was recently saying that my dad should become a politician because he has not secret scandals or skeletons in his closet.